All travel stories

Every journey begins with a single step, but mine began with the sound of train wheels and the immediate, aching realization that I had packed entirely wrong. My shoulders are screaming, but Vietnam awaits!

After 23 hours of travel, I’ve finally landed in Hanoi. My first day involved a shockingly cheap and delicious bowl of soup and learning the first rule of crossing the street here: the little green man is a liar.

My first day in Hanoi was a spiritual journey, punctuated by two giant stuffed turtles and the sudden, profound realisation that I desperately needed a new suitcase.

My day unfolded in three distinct, and distinctly weird, acts: a shuffle past a revolutionary leader, a culinary face-off with tofu (the tofu won), and a sobering tour of the local prison. My back has seen better days.

After a coffee potent enough to bend space-time, the offensively modern bus to Ninh Binh was a crushing disappointment. Thankfully, my faith in chaotic travel was restored by a child-sized life jacket, a comically underpowered motorbike, and the temple of a certain King Dingaling.

An evening in Hanoi's Old Quarter featuring a battle with fully-armoured prawns, a surprisingly specific pickpocketing tip, a karaoke performance for the ages, and a death-defying scooter ride at twelve miles per hour. My chopsticks, and my ego, have seldom been so tested.

A day of discovering Hanoi's economic marvels, from laundry so cheap it's dangerous to a roadside shoe surgery that worked a miracle for less than a pound. Capped off by a night of vicarious overindulgence and a battle of wits with my own suitcase.

My farewell to Hanoi, a city of serene contradictions, was followed by a journey to Da Nang involving airport security, a plummeting airplane, and the crushing realisation that my next motorcycle is even smaller than I am. A tale of two cities.

A half-hour cable car ride took me to a surreal mountain resort best described as ‘Blackpool on steroids.’ Naturally, I arrived inside a cloud, whose contents immediately emptied onto me. My raincoat, meanwhile, was enjoying the 32-degree weather on a bus 5,000 feet below.

A quiet morning gave way to an afternoon of sensory overload. From the dizzying, exhilarating spin of a coconut boat to the magical, warm glow of countless lanterns, Hoi An was a true feast for the eyes and soul.

My travel day started with a classic panic: a missing passport. Turns out, I’d orchestrated a dramatic, public unpacking at the airport only to discover I’d left it, along with my wallet and watch, in the hotel room. Cue frantic calls and an expensive taxi ride to retrieve my carelessly abandoned valuables.

Day 10 brought me to the Mekong Delta, where I encountered everything from brick mills and coconut candy to flat batteries and traffic jams. All in all, a perfectly chaotic adventure.

My penultimate day in Vietnam brought an emotional stop at a handicapped village, a shockingly competitive (and surprisingly humbling) shooting range experience, and a wrestling match with the infamous Cu Chi tunnels, all capped off with an "Indian head massage" that felt more like a cage fight.

My final Vietnamese day kicked off with a flight to Hanoi, a desperate dash for souvenirs, and a lovely dinner with Hannah, the guardian angel of my trip. The highlight? A scooter ride through Hanoi that made my heart pound and proved Hannah might just be a secret race car driver.

My Vietnamese adventure draws to a close with a bittersweet goodbye to pho and an epic journey home. Eighteen hours of planes, trains, and automobiles (or rather, a taxi) await, all while hoping global politics don't add any unscheduled detours. It's been an unforgettable two weeks, proving that sometimes, all you need is a plane ticket and a sense of humour.